Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Are you "Chi-rish"???

OK, a lot of these beer commercials are funny, specifically some of the Bud Light and Miller Lite ones. Obviously they are the Coke and Pepsi of shitty popular beer, so they do the most advertising. Some of the Miller Lite ads crack me up at their irony though, as they play off the angle that their beer is actually good, when it is in fact, horrible. But, to each his own I suppose!! (rolling eye face)

But I digress. Miller Lite last year decided to invent a new word to describe some of the Chicago area residents. Chi-rish, which is a combination of Chicago, and Irish. I see they have brought back that ad campaign again this year. It's obviously a marketing campaigned geared toward the St. Patrick's Day beer drinking crowd. But I am confused. Who exactly is Chi-rish? Do you have to be Irish, to be Chi-rish? Do you have to be from Chicago to be Chi-rish? Do you have to like shitty beer Miller Lite to be Chi-rish? If it is determined that I am Chi-rish, is the ailment only applicable during the first two weeks of March?? In July will I turn into an Amillerican? In October should I be carving an empty 12 pack box for Millerween?

Look, I see the trend has even inspired these douchenozzles to make a video about being Chi-rish, which includes a great song about BOSTON? (Please, you are giving the Chi-rish a bad name)

Chi-rish Video

Look, I get how advertising works. I remembered the add, it stuck in my head, and now I'm even blogging about it. That is EXACTLY what Miller wants. I concede that point. However, that does not make the ad, or the word Chi-irsh, any less absurd!!!!

Well, that's about all I have to say about it. So, as we approach this St. Patrick's Day, do me (and yourself) a favor. Put down the sissy "light" beers and try something decent. I'm not a beer snob by any stretch, in fact I'd just assume have some rum. But give this beer a try, Pilgrim's Dole by New Holland Brewing Company.


So to anyone that is Chi-rish, Irish, Polish, Jewish, Squeamish, Boorish, or any other kind of ISH (made up or not), have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!


Monday, March 14, 2011


Need to be respected more.................
....a LOT more.

Slow Walkers

They are everywhere!  Do you know the people I am talking about?  The people that just walk so slow, for no apparent reason?  I think it's an epidemic.  I mean how many of these people actually have injuries, or ailments that prevent them from walking a little faster??  NOT THAT MANY!!!  Slow Walkers can be found just about anywhere.  Airports, shopping malls, grocery stores, concerts, office buildings, you name it.

Now, I'm not asking these douchebags to speed it to Olympic style speedwalking levels or anything.  Just a slight increase in pace would be appreciated!  In crowded areas they are the worst.  Maneuvering in and out of a plethora of Slow Walkers, trying to get to the JC Penny's to return the hideous sweater someone got me for Xmas.  Do you really have nothing better to do than plod your way from the Food Court over to the cellphone cover kiosk at 1mph???  The mall is also the worst when the Slow Walking ASSTARD makes the transition into the Random Stopper (Random Stoppers are a whole other subject!).  What's the thought process there?  The internal conversation must go something like this....."Hmmm....I know I'm walking right now, but I just don't think I want to keep going, so probably a good idea TO STOP RIGHT FUCKING HERE.  I'm at the mall, so it's probably safe to assume that there a no other people walking behind me, here in the WALKWAY."

Listen, if I pull into the parking lot and haven't even parked yet, and I see you walking into the building, then three minutes later you're lard ass is still teetering down the hall towards your office door, then you are a SLOW WALKER!!  Now I'm faced with the decision, do I pass your dumb ass in this 4 foot wide hall, and beat you to do the door by 5 seconds and look like I'm the douche that is uber-anxious to get to work.  Don't make me out to be the asshole just because I walk at normal pace. 

And for fucks sake, if I do pass you, or even just catch up and draft behind you for a few yards, can the small talk.  I know it's cold out, I know what day it is, I don't care what your opinion on anything is.  Please, just get out of the way or pick it up a little.  These people have now forced to wait in my car until no slow walkers are in sight, and make a dash for the door, hoping none appear from the around the corner.  Or the ones that try to make eye contact from 50 yards behind, pleading to me with their slow walking miserable frowny faces to hold the door for them.

So please people, if you are noticing that when you are walking, other WALKERS are passing you, then you ARE a Slow Walker.  So pick up the pace a little.  Don't waste your life waddling around like this guy!

Next topic.............Idiots, and their ongoing struggle to park their car BETWEEN the two yellow lines.